I think about you so very often.
I think about how old you would be, what you would look like, what you would be doing in your life right now.
I wonder how my life would be different if you were here.
I have guilt. Did I make the wrong decisions? Did I do something wrong? Was it karma? Was I being punished for sins of the past?
I feel sadness. Sadness I will never know you. Never see you. Never hug you or smell your sweet skin.
I remember when I lost you. I remember the pain. I remember the room, cold and bare. I remember the stained ceiling and the parade of doctors. I remember KNOWING but praying for a miracle. I remember the ride home from the hospital. I remember the pit in my stomach that took so long to dissipate. I remember the emptiness.
I want you to know I am sorry. I’m so sorry if it was my fault. I’m so sorry you never got the chance to see the world outside my womb. I’m so sorry your life ended before it even began.
You are always with me. You are a part of my heart, forever.
I love you.