Mommy moments-I'm not ready for kindergarten!

Today was the day.  Kindergarten screening.  How did this day come so fast?  How is it possible that my first born is 5 years old and going to the "big school"in 4 months?  4 MONTHS?!?!  Just the thought of it makes me want to break into tears.

In case you don't know what kindergarten screening is, it's basically just assessing your child's readiness for kindergarten.  Evaluating their motor development, speech, hearing, language and readiness skills- things like hand-eye coordination, clarity of speech patterns and communication skills, knowledge of colors, counting, position, ability to write their name, follow directions, etc.

I was so nervous for him.  He's a very smart boy, but still, I was nervous.  This is my first go-around with sending a child to kindergarten and I'm not quite sure what to expect.  As we pulled into the school parking lot Nick whispered, "I'm a little shy today."  "It's OK honey!"  I said.  "There's nothing to be scared about.  Everyone here is really nice and you are going to have fun."   But I felt a pit in my stomach as I said it.

We made it into the building.  We made it through visitor sign in.  We were on our way to the screening room.  And then, the bell rang.  40 or so elementary students flooded the hall.  Nick's hand tightened into a death grip around mine.  We stopped and let everyone pass, and all was well again.

After a brief wait, they called Nick into the room.  He looked a little apprehensive to go in by himself, but walked in without protest or complaint.  2 minutes later I looked through the door and he was talking, smiling and laughing.

The entire thing took a little over an hour.  While Nick was doing his activities, I met with one of the kindergarten teachers, the school nurse, and finally the school psychologist to go over the results. And guess what?  He did great!   

Honestly, I may be a lot more worried about this whole kindergarten thing than Nick is.  It's strange- Nick has gone to daycare/pre-school since he was 12 weeks old.  He is used to being away from me during the day, used to socializing with other kids, used to following a daily schedule and routine.  But there is just something about kindergarten.  It's the start of a new phase of his life.  It's the start of him becoming more independent.  It's the start of him needing me less and less.  I feel like I am going to lose part of my little boy and that makes my heart hurt.

It's bittersweet watching your child grow up.

I do feel a little better after today.  After meeting the teachers and seeing how nice they are and how much they genuinely seem to care.  But of course I still worry.  Will he be safe?  Will he be sad? Will kids be mean to him?  Will he make friends?  Will he like his teacher?  Will his teacher like him? Will he pay attention?  Will he be bullied?  Will HE be a bully?  I don't know if these thoughts will ever really stop.  Lessen, sure.  Stop completely, probably not.

On the positive side, I do have 4 more months to mentally prepare myself.  Not my son, ME!  LOL After his experience today, Nick seems pretty excited to go to kindergarten in the fall.  He is going to be fine.  He is going to love it.  Deep down, I truly believe this.   He will still be my little boy, just smarter, stronger, and a little more independent. And that's a good thing (I just need to keep reminding myself of that)!!  I know in the end, my excitement at seeing him learn, grow, mature, and experience so many amazing firsts will outweigh any sadness I feel about "losing my little boy."

So, to my handsome, amazing, smart and funny son, I say this:
Get ready!!  In a few short months you will start the most exciting journey of your life!

And to myself I say:
You got this mama!!

Enjoying a celebratory donut after K screening