It's been a tough week

Can I tell you something friends?  This week was tough.  I mean really tough.  Not life or death tough, but TOUGH.  Between daycare issues (Nick), head injuries (Alec- he’s fine, but seeing your baby covered in blood is a bit disconcerting to say the least) and work stress, I am emotionally exhausted. 

To put it simply and without revealing all the details, our daycare situation was no longer working for us. This is a place that my children have gone to (for the most part) 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, since they were 12 weeks old.  This is a place where I felt 100% comfortable leaving my babies.  Do you know how important that is to a working mom?  It is ESSENTIAL.    This is a place where many of the teachers and staff feel like family.  This is a place where people (some) truly love my children.

However, this is also a place that has gone through numerous changes this past year.  Changes that might have been right for some, but not for our son.  Changes that no longer made us feel 100% comfortable leaving our children there.  Changes that angered us and concerned us.  And changes in our son because of all this that no longer made this place the right fit for him.

The past few weeks we have been struggling with what to do.   Struggling with what is right for our son and our family.   And this week, events forced us to make an immediate decision.  And that decision was that I walked into daycare this morning and told them today would be our children’s last day there. 

In many ways, this was a relief.  A decision had been made and the stressors that had been plaguing us at this daycare would be no more.  But this was also a very sad day.  I am saying goodbye to good people that have loved and cared for my children.  My son is saying goodbye to his teachers and his friends, some of which he has been with from the beginning.   When I told Nick’s teacher this morning that this would be his last day, she had tears in her eyes and said she was so sad.  Even as I write this, my eyes are welling up with tears thinking about it.  She has been so amazing with Nick.  She has been his biggest supporter and cheerleader, even when Nick was not at his best.  I feel sad and I feel guilty for taking him away from his friends and away from people who care so much for him.

But... we truly think this is the absolute best move for our family.  We think this is the absolute best move for Nick.  Logistically, geographically, rationally, and financially this is absolutely the best move.  But still, it is hard not to question the decision and worry whether or not it truly was the right one.

I have been trying to remind myself today that many of those friends that Nick has been with for so long will be going off to Kindergarten in another week.  So really, this goodbye was inevitable.  I am reminding myself that last night when I asked my son if he was going to miss his friends he said, “Yes, but I’ll probably make new friends.”  Such a smart boy.  I have been telling myself that we will stay in touch with the important people, and if they are meant to remain our lives, they will.  But this doesn’t make the fact that Monday morning I will be dropping my children off someplace new with people they don’t really know, one single bit easier.